darn shoe

In my oh-so-long experience here at BYU, I’ve learned that an untied shoe pretty much guarantees an embarrassing moment. Whether it be bending over to tie your dysfunctional footwear without realizing that your pants are, well, exposing your bum to the entire world; OR causing a traffic jam as the hurried students behind you fail to see you crouched in shoe-tying position which inevitably results in a disaster comparable to a failed game of leap frog. And yes, I am sad to say that these have BOTH happened to me.

But because the described events aren’t embarrassing enough, I decided to add one more to the list. Today, while walking through the library, I glumly looked down to find my shoe untied. Thus the internal debate began, “do I look more stupid walking around with an untied shoe or bending over to tie my shoe?” Maybe these thoughts don’t cross anyone else's mind but hey, they are relevant things to think about! In the midst of this rapid thought process, I was struck with, what I believed to be, a pure genius idea. Just up ahead I spotted a lovely display case with an inch thick edged border falling just above knee. Why not, I thought, place my foot on said ledge to tie my shoe, thus avoiding leap frog and saggy pants?! Like I said…pure genius. So I made my way to the display case, tucked my notebook underneath my arm, gracefully swung my foot onto the greatly-appreciated lip, and began tying my shoe. Ahh it felt good to be a genius—for a second at least. Just as I was about to give my bunnies some ears (shoe tying lingo for all you unawares) my foot began slipping and it was too late…there was nothing I could do to stop what happened next. My foot flopped to the floor; my unbalanced body tipped over causing my head to mercilessly smack the display case; I made a horrible noise that I probably wouldn’t be able to make ever again even if I wanted to; my notebook and the loose papers inside it went everywhere; and before I knew it I was on the floor. At this point the only thing left to do was use my hair as a blanket to cover my ashamed face and crouch in a ball on the floor sulking in my own indignity. I would like to say no one saw this sad event but unfortunately it occurred during class changes and the halls were bustling, to say the least. After what felt like years of being ground ridden, I made sure all passersby were new faces (aka they hadn’t witnessed the flop), I pretended to tie my shoes, and I slowly got to my feet and continued on my way. Oy vey.

On the bright side, I probably made someone’s day today as they got to witness a one of a kind show. Stay tuned for episode 4 of shoe tying…it will inevitably occur, though I myself am terrified to see what it promises...